Even shit has its uses

Goddamn I like swearing.

“Dang”, “golly”, and “shoot” can all get fucked.

When I jam the spikes of my flat pedal into my shin and the first word that comes out of my mouth isn’t “puppies!”

Swearing can fucking help relieve pain that’s a goddamn good thing.

Mountain biking can fuck your shit up, that’s for sure.

Broken bones, concussions, collapsed lungs, crap getting in your eyes, bleeding to death, freezing, running out of food and water will all ruin you.

While there is no known cure for dumb fuckery stupidity is self-correcting.

Riding with a hangover without bringing any water?

Yeah, that’s just asking for it.

Riding the rockiest gnar fest you know without a helmet?

You’re a fucking idiot.

Believe you me, I’ve done my share of dumbass things but sadly  there isn’t an award for being a fuckwit.

If there was they would be the Darwin Awards.

There is one thing to be a jackass but don’t be a dick.

A jackass is some one that is foolish or stupid  but a dick is some one that is an obnoxious, opinionated, self-satisfied know it all.

I’m a jackass and while I’m not proud of that fact I can, at least, acknowledge my faults.

A dick, however, will leave their piss stains every where they go.

You can see their piss stains everywhere, from energy wrappers left on the trail, to throwing elbows while riding in order to increase their Strava standings, to parking sideways in parking lots so no one can scratch their luxury edition Audi.

Let’s face it dicks, a penis has it’s uses in the world, you do not.

I may be full of shit but even shit has its uses.